Dear Linda,

My home didn’t flood, but many of my friends lost their homes and/or their jobs. I feel so guilty. My job is more hectic now, but I’m glad it’s keeping my mind occupied. I don’t want to complain to anyone, as I know I’m doing much better than they are, so I decided to write to you.
Anonymous, River Ridge

Dear Anonymous,
Sounds like you have an acute case of survivor guilt. Of course, it seems absurd for anyone to complain about guilt over not losing anything to the storm, but the emotional impact of the guilt is nonetheless very real. You need to talk about it–talking is the best way to help yourself understand it and, most of all, to grow past it. Be careful not to let it affect your health. Good nutrition, sleep and exercise are more important than ever these days. Letting your guilt hang over you like a wet blanket, dampening your spirit, helps no one and can paralyze you into doing nothing but feeling bad. Choose a friend whose house/family/job seems intact and get together for coffee. Talk about it together until you’re able to feel a sense of relief. Later, take some time for yourself–don’t bury your feelings in work–to write in your journal and to talk to friends. I suggest picking up a copy of Hal Urban’s brand-new book, Choices That Change Lives (Simon & Schuster, 2006). Chapter eight is titled “Renewal” and could have been written specifically for those suffering survivor guilt after Katrina. He writes about balancing your physical, mental, social and spiritual selves. It’s time to grow past your guilt. We all need to take care of ourselves so that we can work together to build a better New Orleans.